Exploring a potential date’s online profile can detract from the suspense of a first meeting, but there are compelling reasons to do it… [+] Here’s how to conduct background research – or “investi-dating” – on a new acquaintance.
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Discovering about our potential romantic partners has never been easier due to the availability of digital tools. With just a name or a social media link, you can quickly immerse yourself in someone’s online persona. This method has become so popular that we’ve dubbed it as “investi-dating.”
Investi-dating refers to performing a preliminary investigation on a promising romantic prospect. The internet, with platforms like Instagram, Facebook, X and LinkedIn at hand, has made it enticing to conduct a profile deep-dive before your first meetup. It’s essentially a modern, relaxed background check where you explore a person’s preferred holiday locales, musical preferences, or interactions with their peers instead of their legal history.
Investi-dating comes with several advantages. Firstly, it enables you to ensure your safety by verifying a person’s claims about their identity. A quick scroll through someone’s online profile can provide a level of surety. Also, being armed with some background information can act as an excellent conversation opener. Knowledge on their recent attendance at a music gig or a trip to a specific city can generate interesting discussions.
Here are a couple of strategies for conducting successful investi-dating without emanating a judgmental or intrusive vibe.
1. Put Their Online Interactions Into Perspective Before Forming Opinions
A common misstep in online investigations is creating opinions based solely on surface-level content without considering the context. Instead of only judging based on pictures and updates, try to interpret the between-the-lines information.
Here’s how you go about it:
Focus on public interactions. Rather than attempting to decode individual photos or updates, concentrate on observing their interactions with others. Are their responses respectful? Do they engage in uplifting conversations? These observations could offer a glimpse into their character and principles.
Identify trends, not individual instances. Everyone may have a couple of posts that seem off-kilter when viewed out of context. Rather than fixating on isolated instances, look for repeating behaviors or themes in their online activities to form a more comprehensive perspective of their personality.
While it’s crucial to find a partner whose values match yours, be wary if their entire online image appears overly perfect. The term “wokefishing” is used to describe individuals who feign progressive opinions to attract partners. If all their updates seem overly aligned with popular sentiment, this could be a warning sign. Authentic convictions are layered, and not everyone agrees all the time with popular opinion. If you find absolutely nothing debatable or discussable in their updates, it might be time to question if their online persona accurately reflects their real life.
2. Search For Genuine Expression In Stories, Not Just Posts
A study published in 2022 in Social Media and Society posits that due to their ephemeral nature compared to posts, stories allow for a more unfiltered, spontaneous self-representation. Study participants considered their stories as marginally more real than their updates.
This is crucial when investi-dating. While updates can be meticulously curated and heavily edited, stories tend to be more off-the-cuff, documenting real-time experiences. So, if you are aiming to understand the real side of a person, their stories might be a better starting point. However, always remember that all online portrayals are just aspects of a person, and the fuller picture is invariably more intricate than what’s exhibited on social media.
Moreover, trust your gut instinct when determining authenticity while decoding online personalities. A 2020 study published in Nature Communications found a correlation between authenticity in online statements and general life satisfaction. Specifically, individuals who tended towards genuine self-portrayal on platforms like Facebook registered higher levels of contentment in life. This insight highlights that a person’s happiness is closely linked to their genuine presentation of self online, providing a valuable pointer for those in search of a genuine and contented partner.
Conclusion
Practising investi-dating with an understanding of online dynamics offers pragmatic insights. Social media can serve as a window into an individual’s world, preferences and morals. Nonetheless, while methods like interpreting online engagement or seeking authenticity in stories are useful, they are just aids to enhance our comprehension. Keep in mind that irrespective of how meticulously curated or genuine an online profile appears, it only paints a partial picture of the person. Refrain from labeling or rejecting someone solely based on their online image. After all, true connection and understanding arise from personal interactions, discourses and shared experiences.
